Walter: Peter, these cacao beans, they're inedible. Gene will never be able to digest them.
Peter: She's a cow, Walter. She could probably digest the frying pan.
Broyles: What is he doing?
Peter: Oh, you don't want to know.
Walter: I'm trying to make chocolate milk. Or rather, I'm trying to make the cow make chocolate milk.
Walter: Aspirin, we need to go to the market.
Bolivia: Well, he (Walter) couldn't have known how bad it was gonna be.
Peter: Yeah. I mean, it's not like they gave him a picture of himself with fireballs coming out of his eyes while he was strapped into a doomsday machine.
Walter: For a catastrophic explosion like that, I imagine he had some sort of surgical implant. Dental ceramic crowns. If they were to vibrate at just the right resonant frequency... I always hated dentists.
Peter: (to Broyles) At this point, would anything really surprise you?
Walter: Bacon-flavored pudding. That would surprise me.
Charlie: Dude, seriously? What part of zero-point-zero-zero-zero don't you get?
Peter (as a vision): Real is just a matter of perception.
Peter: With a basement lab in Harvard, Walter was able to open a wormhole into another dimension that essentially shredded all the laws of science. I can't wait to see what he's capable of doing with a multi-billion dollar corporation.
Walter: You, with the red hair.
Scientist: It's black.
Walter: I see red. Answer the question.
Astrid: Agent Astrid Farnsworth. I'm here to see Doctor Bishop.
Security: I've got an "Astro" Farnsworth.
Astrid: And what are we hoping to find?
Walter: Its memories, Astrid. Everything it knows. Who it was working for. If there were others. You look shocked.
Astrid: You just called me Astrid. You never get my name right.
Walter: Must be the LSD.
Astrid: Walter, I thought you said you weren't hungry?
Walter: I'm eating for comfort. To think what I put that poor woman through, and the most activity we saw occurred in the shape-shifter's ass.
Astrid: It was his lower spine, Walter.
Walter: I'll be right back. Oh, don't eat my pudding.
Walter: Belly, you ingenious son of a bitch.
Charlie: He walked through walls?
Lincoln: It's possible.
Charlie: Okay, now I know you pulled that outta your ass.
Walter: Perhaps Peter would like to play last night's tape aloud to everyone, given his recent fondness for dangerous activity.
Nina: Yesterday, he (Walter) spent fifteen minutes in front of a utility closet thinking it was the elevator.
Walter: Well done. (to Peter) You sounded very Sherlock Holmes just then. (to Astrid) Which makes you Watson, Dear.
Edward Markham: What if someone comes to erase my memories?
Peter: I should be so lucky.
Walter: Nina... if I had known you were coming, I'd have baked a cake.
Walter: I feel a bowel movement coming on.
FBI EMT: Any nausea?
Peter: Yeah. Bit of a headache too.
FBI EMT: On a scale of one to ten?
Peter: Tequila hangover or something like that.
[Broyles hands out a gun to Peter.]
Walter: No gun for me.
Broyles: Good idea.
Walter: I'd forgotten that a couple of nights ago, I used my cauterizer to remove an uncomfortable growth between my...
Peter: Less information, better.
Walter: How did she react?
Peter: Surprisingly well.
Walter: Do you think possibly they replaced her with a robot?
Walter: You know what I need after a day like today?
Peter: For most people, it would be a drink, so I'm guessing...
Walter: ...strawberry milkshake...
Peter: I can do that.
Walter: With extra whipped cream.
Peter: Don't push it.
Peter: I'm sorry...
Walter: Roscoe's mind doesn't work like ours. His creativity is expressed through music. Playing may help him to recollect the conversation he had with his son.
Peter: And if you just happen to get a private concert from your musical idol...
Walter: (to Astrid) Ashram! Come out here, please.
Walter: My bone saw, Dear. The aspirator, voltmeter, and a ripe banana.
Astrid: Please tell me the banana's for you.
Walter: I had a sudden craving. It's odd though. Bananas are typically my least favorite fruit.